Ripped Pants and Fallen Petals

I suppose I owe you guys another one of these stories (and by you guys I refer to all three of you, haha). I'm pretty sure it happened junior year, but I'm not entirely sure. That's OK though, when and where in this story though don't amount to nearly as much as how and why. It was another school dance, let's go with junior prom (I think...?). I asked a girl in my ward. We were just friends, but to be honest I didn't know her very well...just that she was pretty shy. I was sure we'd have a fun time though. We did too, just a more painful fun than I expected.

We went sledding at Murray park. It's over just east of State St. on 5400 S. It has a few decent hills and one really nice one. It's also a great place to go ice-blocking or setting up a giant slip-n-slide in the summer (that's another story entirely). So we have our group of about 12-14 people. We're going down with tubes, toboggans, plastic sleds, inflatable furniture...you name it. Oddly though, my date wouldn't go down the hill. I didn't know if she was afraid, shy, or even rebellious, but there was nothing we could do to get her to go down the hill. She made sure I went down though, because she could tell I really wanted to. She just liked watching.

Well we kept sledding, the whole while my date would be at the top of the hill giving people a nice boost and enjoying everything in observation. We all decided to have one last big run before heading out, everybody going down together, but she still didn't go. We all made it to the bottom. Somehow I was closest to the hill after the decent and stood up to watch all of my friends who were now away from the hill.

I then hit the ground hard.

I must have blacked out for a second because I had no idea what happened. I woke up laying on the ground looking up (seems to be a theme with snow and me). Apparently my date was leaving the best for last and decided with everyone leaving she'd finally go down the hill. I wasn't looking towards the hill when she came down and she took out my legs going very fast. As I got up and stumbled around disoriented, (btw, she felt horrible) it was pointed out to me by caring-and-not-laughing friends (I wish there was a font for sarcasm) that my pants had ripped at the seam...the whole way. Looking back, she had to have hit me very hard, going very fast. I easily had 80 lbs. on her. We had one of those sleds that was basically a thin, flexible slab of plastic. I wrapped it around my waist to cover my nakedness. I still remember the weird looks people were giving us (OK, giving me) and how funny all of my friends thought it was.

I waddled my way back to the car, dropped her off and went home to change. I wish the story ended there, but it doesn't.

I'm an idiot. I'll prove it.

The dance was at the state capitol. We went and had our pictures taken, did a bit of dancing, and were just having a good time. Well we're all standing in a big circle and I decided to mimic the hilarious rantings of one of my favorite comedians, Jeff Birk. Don't bother googling him, nothing will come up. He's and LDS actor that's in Singles Ward, The R.M., Saint and Soldiers...not big roles, but he's there. Anyway, he does this bit where he takes the side of his suit coat and starts flapping it back and forth in front and behind him. I was showing our big group, but foolishly chose the wrong side of my tux. I chose the side that my boutineer was on and as I was flapping my suit the petals started to fly everywhere. My date looked horrified. At first I thought it was because I was acting retardedly...I later found out that her mom had made the boutineer by hand and had spent quite some time on it.

My bad.

Watching the petals fall was like watching the beast's time grow shorter as the rose slowly withered away. It was my turn to feel horrible.

She forgave me though, and we had a fun rest of the evening.

To this day I wonder if she remembers any of that date. Perhaps I should ask, like high-five girl, she might not have even thought twice about the days events. Then again, it might be the reason we never went out again...haha. Guess I'll never know.